My life in grad school

I am halfway done with my Master’s of Arts in Teaching degree! What does this mean? This means I have successfully completed 14 graduate level courses (or that’s how many I can remember off of the top of my head) in 4 months, I have completed my fieldwork in my practicum site (4^th grade), and I have completed my first term of Teacher Research and my first work sample! It also means that it’s Winter break and I finally have some time to think and breathe. First thought, I need a laptop. This desk top computer does no good sitting in my studio apartment when I am in the elementary school classroom trying to plan and prep my lessons before school, after school, and while the kids are at PE and music. Second thought, I need a gym membership!!! I feel like I have gained 10 pounds, and I am more often cranky than happy when I am this comatose-like state. Third thought, why on earth am I going on a cruise?! How could I possibly think that I could afford this? Maybe because I booked it two months ago when I actually had some financial aid money left. Oh yes, now I’m thinking about rent, and how I am going to pay it when I get back from my cruise…. Hmm. So, now that money is out of the picture, there goes that laptop I need, and the gym membership I want.

First I’ll spill about life, than school. Life is great. Couldn’t be happier living in the same city as my boyfriend, well actually living in the apartment building next to his. That makes for quick trips back and forth when one of us forgets the lettuce for the salad, or the movie pick of the night. It also means coffee together in the morning, or walking to school together when our classes coincide. I also enjoy living a half hour from my grandparents. I love driving out to the country and having a home-cooked meal from my grandma while playing cards with my grandpa, all the while my laundry is getting a good cleaning. Not to mention seeing their good manner and love for each other (even when the economy is bad and real estate is not on their side), this gives me hope for the future and has me day dreaming about my life in 50 years. My life also includes a new little love… Kynlee. I have two amazing nephews that I ache to spend time with, and many cousins that I love seeing during family gatherings, and now I have finally met my 4 month old niece. After spending one day with her, my studio apartment is covered in pictures. My desk that I am sitting at now, has 3. On my fridge there is another 3. And around the rest of this one roomed studio apartment there are much more. I spent maybe a total of 8 hours with this little sweet heart and I am craving more.

School… oh school. I love school, I have always loved school. I was that little social butterfly in school that loved learning, but loved talking even more. I was the kid that I can never quiet down. I was the kid that I am constantly telling to stop disrupting their neighbors. I was the kid that I ignore when their hand is raised because well, their hand is always raised. Ha, and now I will be a teacher. I will be the one trying to control those kids that are just like me. How ironic. I will be the one talking, the one deciding who gets to talk, the one choosing what we will do for the day. I will be what I always wanted to be in school, the spotlight.

It is tough right now, being a student and a teacher. Some days I am in a student seat for up to 11 hours, taking in all this information, writing notes, doing assignments, critical thinking, coming up with ideas and predictions, while other days I am on the other side. I am the “professor”. I am the person that usually tells me what to do. I try to teach, the way I feel my professor could best teach me. I try to reflect on the strengths and weaknesses I see throughout my day as a student, so I can be sure to incorporate those strengths in my own teaching, and give way with the weaknesses.

Biggest strength thus far- relationships. Maybe that is why I always score “interpersonal skills” on those personality/future job test thingys. I love building relationships. I love connecting to my teachers and my students. The way it feels when a teacher calls you by name may not be a big deal, until you have had a teacher that cannot call you by name because he or she has not put the effort in to know you by name. I get to know my students, every single one. I get to know their interests, their personality, their strengths, and their flaws. I get to know what drives them- and knowing these things drives me. I truly believe knowing my students makes me a better teacher. The first day back to my student teaching site (we were away for a couple months), the students all hugged me as they came in. When I would greet them by name, I could see the surprise look, the comfort, the trust, and the pride they had. Multiple students said “I can’t believe you remember my name!” A substitute came in halfway through the day, so I taught all afternoon. The respect they gave me, for being my first day back, is something most people have not seen from second graders. I felt at home. Oh I sure did miss my fourth graders though. And when I get home to see their pictures they drew me, and notes they wrote me hanging on my wall, I miss them even more. But to be without my second graders, who go to a title 1 (low income), and title 3 (English Language Learners) school is like being away from a sick grandparent. They need me, they need to know someone cares about them. They need to feel pride, and respected, and loved. They need someone to encourage them, to expect more, push them further, scaffold their development, and help them succeed, even if the success is writing their spelling words down three times in a row.

These four months have been a long and tedious journey. I first imagined this year to be like putting my life on hold, “sorry I’m busy, I will talk to you after my lesson plans are written, my assessments are created, my student work is scanned, and my papers are finished, well then I need to make some food and pick up my clothes that are on the floor so I have something to wear tomorrow, so maybe I’ll just talk to you next week”. But now I see this year as a new beginning. I am learning things that I have not thought of before, I am learning patience, and kindness, and strictness, and discipline, and commitment. All of which I feel I have had in the past, but now I have so much more of. So this year of my life is like the first 6 miles of a marathon, it is just the beginning.